He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
