Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
