Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was like eating out sand paper
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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