What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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