I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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