i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
