We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
