But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
