Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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