I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
