i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
