at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
