well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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