I wish I could teleport
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
