I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
you win again, gameday.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
