small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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