She's JV to your varsity
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize