OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
