Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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