Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
