Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
