i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
