Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
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