you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
