would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Randomize
