i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize