i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
