So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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