Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
