I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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