Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
