Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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