Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
