I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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