I bet he comes in French.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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