Joe is yelling at the trees again.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
