Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
