Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
