He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
