5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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