what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
