I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
