It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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