you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
