New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
