come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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