I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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