it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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