I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
