threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
