omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
We need to get me chipped asap
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
