i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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