i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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