How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
