so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
