3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
