omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i love accidental penises.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Success! We fucked roommates!
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
