Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this just has baby written all over it
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
