Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
