i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
