So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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