I am in a vortex of obligation.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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