yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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