I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize