There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
