Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
