I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
