When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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