The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
